It’s 3 in the morning and I can’t sleep bc I do not know if strippers with extra nipples wear nipple stars on them in addition to the two primary nips

xydg:

i wonder what its like to be attractive enough to have random people have crushes on you 

tsarbucks:

no i’m not gonna lend you my pencil because if i lend you my pencil then you’ll want my calculator and then you’ll want austria and czechoslovakia and then you’ll end up invading poland and i will not have that shit

nickelbackthatassup:

don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…

ashestoashesjc:

I regret nearly everything I did between the ages of birth and however old I was yesterday. 

nomadic-mantra:

If you’ve ever doubted yourself, walk deep into any forest. Notice how the trees still stand even though they are given no recognition. Walk along any stream. The water still flows, though no one stops to praise it. Watch the stars late at night; they shine without acknowledgment. Humans are just the same. We are made out of the same elements as these beautiful wonders. Always remember your beauty and self worth. 

socialcasualty21:

"Make it stop!"

socialcasualty21:

"Make it stop!"

railroadsoftware:

holograsm:

what do i focus on here

try focusing on making you life and the lives of your loved ones better each and every day 

railroadsoftware:

holograsm:

what do i focus on here

try focusing on making you life and the lives of your loved ones better each and every day 

teamrocketing:

mom: so how do you know this person?

me: *struggles to come up with plausible fake story instead of saying “on the internet”*

diegolopezocon:

I swear that I downloaded the game as a joke

diegolopezocon:

I swear that I downloaded the game as a joke

disowns:

image

when bae sets up a surprise date <3

if i was a doctor
hot guy: i sprained my wrist
me: okay take off your underwear
inabasket:

Colleges don’t offer this as a major so what’s the fucking point

inabasket:

Colleges don’t offer this as a major so what’s the fucking point